THE FIRST GOODBYE

Image courtesy of shutterstock.com

Why didn't he tell her that a single plate of a meal would be accompanied by so much silverware? What was the need for all these? She eyeballed the cutlery in hazy not having the foggiest idea of where to begin. "Why are you not eating, dear, you don't like the food?" "No sir I love it." "Then be comfortable child, what is your name again, I guess age is taking a toll on me?" "Lavina sir." "Oh yeah, Lavi I want you to be comfortable." "Okay, sir." It was her first time to meet his parent and she needed to not slip up she wanted to be sophisticated but how was civilization and all this cutlery related, she gave snip glance at Ryan and dug in.

"Why do you rich people complicate everything?" She asked as he walked her home. "Complicate, how?" He chuckled. "I mean, what was the need of all those cutlery do you know how confused I was?" "Of course you were," he grinned. "Was I obvious?" "Mhm," he nodded "but that aside did you enjoy your meal?" "Every bite, though some had an acquired taste, I loved everything including your parent, they are cool but..." "But?" "Your mother gave me jittery." "Just that?" "Mhm," she bobbed "You know Lavi," he rested his hand on her shoulder." Because she can't still come into terms that her little boy is in love, that he is a grown man but she is an amazing woman babe." "I am sure she is," her eyes locked his."Thank you for everything; I mean this night. It has been a long time since I've had such a nice treat and that is when Papi was alive." tears streamed off. "Don't cry, Lavi." "Sorry, but I can't help it any time I think of him and sometimes I can't cease but think of how different things would be if he was still here maybe I would still be in school and mama would not struggle to cater for our needs and to educate Lani and Mireya. It's said that an apple doesn't fall far from the tree, I wish he was here to see how much Leo resembles him. It hurts so much to think about it, my scholarship I mean everything." He squeezed her into his arms, "I hope you won't throw in the towel? "Of course not, Ry that scholarship is all am eyeing on to turn things around." I'm confident it will all work out, you always say things can turn around in a blink then keep believing that." "I'm sorry if I ruined the night I do miss him so much." "I will always be here for you, ever." "I love you Ry." "And I love you more Lavi, can I take you home gorgeous." "Yeah, sorry." "If you say that again, I am going to..." "What," he giggled eyeing her up

The night shift wore her out; she slid the door and the darkness in the room closed upon her like a wave stifling her movement, she closed the door behind as her hands stroked the wall to locate the switch and finally her eyes blinked in the bright light. 'Oh when will all this end,' she murmured to her self flumping against the cushions. She felt hungry, but she had no stomach for anything. Taking a deep gasp she matched into her sister's room, how she had missed them, sitting beside Lani, her eyes were glued to them, she slightly bent and pecked their brows. "Lavi you are here." "Sorry for waking you up pretty." "It's okay big sis; we waited for you but we fell asleep, Lavi we miss you so much." "I miss you guys so much, I miss our little chats, us dinning together, but don't worry things will fall into place. "You promise?" "I do pretty, but for now go back to sleep." She assured as they embraced. "But I can keep you company." "No, you have school tomorrow." "Okay, goodnight, I love you, big sis." "And I love you more Lani good night," she said trailing off. "Lavi, you will come early tomorrow, won't you?" "I will give it a shot." She closed the door behind her.

They lived together but yet felt far from each other, she would give anything to bring back the old times or make things better but believing was her only option. Goggling at her phone she suddenly rushed into her mother's room, the light was off maybe Leo is now used to the darkness she thought switching on the lamp. "What are you doing on the floor, Ma?" "I am sorry for not sending you to school; I don't want you guys to suffer, I am helpless Lavi." "Mama, you are the one who taught us to always believe then why are you losing faith?" "It hurts to see you coming home late, what if something happens?" "Nothing bad will ever happen to me Ma, and I promise you things will get better, my scholarship will be out soon and you will also get a stable job." "Lavi, I miss you dad so much." She snuggled on her shoulder, "We all do Mama but we have to learn to live without him, you have to be strong." "I am sorry sweety." "It's okay Mama." She watched her sink into sleep and uncontrollably tears fell off her eyes as she crept out of the room. "Lani, what are you doing here, I left you asleep?" she asked helping her off the floor." "I wanted to ask you something but when I got here I had you and Mama talking." Oh! Pretty, did you hear everything?" "Yeah, Lavi I can stop schooling so that mother won't have a hard time." "And do you think that would help, look at me, we are all going to study and fulfill our dreams and Papi dreams for us, I never want to hear you say that, this is a season and we will get through it, okay?" "Okay but I wish Papi was here, I miss him so much, Lavi." "I know, and he will always be in our hearts but we have to learn to only live with that, come," she clasped her in her arms. "I love you so much, Lavi," "And I love you more Lani, you have to go to bed." She pecked her brow. "Can I sleep in your room? I promise I won't snore." "What about Mireya?" "She will be fine." "Fine, but on one condition that you sleep right away." "Okay."

On that silent night, behind the closed door of her serene room, she cried her heart out. She knelt to say a prayer but words didn't reach up to her lips, though her heart pled on her behalf. She stretched beside her sister and trying to soothe herself into sleep suddenly her phone buzzed, it was Ryan she had forgotten to call him. "Hello, gorgeous is your shift done?" "Yes," she said weeping off the tears as though he would see them. "I'm sorry if I woke you up." "No, you didn't Ry, sorry for not calling you." "I understand but your voice sounds strange are you okay?" "Ryan, I can't take it anymore, I am trying to be strong but everything is weighing me down babe." She broke into tears. "Hey, come down, what's wrong?" "I found Ma crying and it broke my heart, she said that she misses Papi but we all do Ryan, I feel so helpless." "Don't give up babe thing will get better, how I wish I was there to hold you in my arms but I have an idea how about we play music I promise it will sheer you up, Lavi I will always be here for you just give me a sec." The sound waves from his acoustic guitar resonated through her ears giving her a sense of tranquility. "Babe, which song would you prefer? Oh, I have an idea, do you know the lyrics to one day you will be fine by Kari Kimmel?" "Yeah, but in parts." "No problem I'll take the lead, this is for you gorgeous, I love you, Lavi."

Following his lead, she sang along though she could not match his dulcet voice at least it gave her composure. Her voice grew low and she eventually zizzed. "Good night love," He said hoping she would hear his whisper in her dreams.

She had spent an hour that evening seated at the park watching the tree swinging to the lyrics of the wind, trail of thoughts running wildly in her mind as she tried to ruminate Mr. Blake's words that afternoon. How was it over when it had just begun? When will the ebb and flow ameliorate? She felt totally lost. Her phone buzzed snapping her off the rumination. Her heart thumped with excitement when she read the text, she swiveled to face the mid-aged man sitting beside her."sir do you believe in miracles?" She asked, but he stared her in amusement may be trying to grip the ground behind her question. Her phone drew back her attention but this time it was her mother reminding her of Leo's medicine. "You should believe in miracles," she said to him twirling as she walked away. He gaped at her shaking his head.

"You are so early today sweetheart, is your shift over?" "Ma, I am so elated, sit beside me I have good news for you. Today Mr. Blake told me that he couldn't accommodate me further because the business is not stable I was dismissed with the other three colleagues but this evening I received a text and they have approved my scholarship, Mama." "I am so happy for you, sweetheart; you will finally fulfill all your dreams and I also got a stable job today I will be starting on Monday." "You see everything worked out Ma and am so happy for you Mama." "When will you start schooling?" "Three weeks from now." "Which University?" "Istanbul University in Turkey." "Turkey? But isn't that far?" "Uh-huh," she assented. "I don't want to be a hindrance to your dreams, though it's far I am going to support you sweetheart, but you have to promise me that you will take good care of yourself." "I will, and also I will look for a part-time job and give you a hand." "No that is not happening, you have no priority except your studies, am I clear?" "Crystal Ma, I love you and I will miss you so much," they embraced a tight clasp. "This house won't be the same without you sweetheart. We are all going to miss you when you leave." "Who is leaving? Lani interjected, and they unclasped and faced her. "I am, pretty." "But to where, Lavi?” "My scholarship got approved and I will be moving to Turkey.” "Wow, I am so proud of you,” she suddenly paused as the last three words ingested into her mind.“But wait, is Turkey not very far?” "I know, it's miles away from home but I will call you guys, furthermore; you are always in my heart.” “I will miss you so much, Lavi.” “And I am gonna miss you more pretty." She cupped her face rubbing their noses together. “Where is Mira? "She was just right here,” Lani said tossing her eyes around. " There she is, at the porch swing." "Come on let's go to her, Mama you are not coming?" “No Lavi, you girls can go, cheer her up, Okay." "Sure Ma." Retorted Lani. "Lavi," a soft voice summoned "Hey, you are finally awake come here champ, are you feeling better?" she asked carrying him in her arms. "No medicine, Lavi," he said softly. "And I brought a whole pack of the medicine." "Am not sick Lavi, I don't want medicine Mama." "Okay Leo, come I feed you." "No, Mama," he buried his face in Lavian's neck and they all chuckled.

They walked towards Mireya "can we join you, Mira?"Lavina inquired but still, she kept her head down"this porch swing is too old but it can still bear heavyweights, don't you agree pretty." "I agree with you big sis." "Mireya won't you look at me, are you angry at me or maybe you are not happy that I got the scholarship but I still love you?" "It is not that," she faced up "I am happy for you I just don't want you to leave, I don't want my best friend to leave me behind," she broke down. "Am I not your best friend also?" "Of course you are also Lani, but I don't want Lavi to leave us." "How old are you Mira?" "Ten years." "Before you turn fourteen years, I will be here cutey, but until then let us enjoy this moment." "Don't, cry Mira," Leo said embracing her. "You sweet cute little guy can I also get a hug," Lani said. "I will miss you so much, Lavi." "And I will miss you big, Mireya, but I will miss more these beautiful doll eyes and the cutest face in the world, I love you so much, Mira." "And I love you too." "I guess someone is overlooking us, are we, not also cute, baby boy?" Lani winked lifting Leo's chin with her thumb. "I'm cute, I'm cute," Leo said jumping up on the porch swing. "You are something else, Lani, but at least you made Mira giggle let's have a group hug." "Yeah group hug," Lani shrieked. "You guys are choking me," Lavina muttered. "All this deserves a celebration, how about baking a cake?" "That's so so cool, I love cakes," Mireya remarked. "Lavi, I can cook," he pressed his tiny palms to either side of her cheeks." "Oh my cute little guy can cook, you all a going to give me a hand." Lani stretched her hands towards her. "If you wish, you can also have my leg," she teased her left leg in the air. "You are so corny, pretty, you should give comedy a shot, it suits you," she tousled her head playfully. "Big sis, if you remove 'Y' from corny which word will be left?" Mireya asked caping her hands together. "That will be corn." "So pretty is so corn, so which corn are you Lani? Is it roasted or boiled one?" Mireya chaffed laughing uncontrollably. "Hey, I am going to squash your nose if I lay my hands on you," Lani uttered chasing her into the house as Lavina and Leo came behind chuckling.

Rosie sat on Dusk's favorite leather couch watching her children having fun in the kitchen. It had been long since she saw them genuinely happy and it gave her pleasure just gaping at them. Beaming, her eyes were glued at Leo's flour-smeared face, he loved it when everything was messy, him inclusive. Her grin dimmed in a blink when dusk crossed her mind, she vehemently wished he were there to see the indubitable resemblance between him and Leo, she verily missed him. She jerked on the couch, and it made her cognizant of the heavy load on her shoulder, it was not easy being in both her shoes and Dusks, he had left a wide gap to bridge. She was in her early forties and maybe finding love again would ease the load on her shoulder but she was not open to that, her children's happiness was more important to her and that meant wearing Dusks' hat till the end.

"Baking is tiresome," Lavina said as they all flopped on her bed. "Lavi, do I have to wait for it to cool before I dig in?" "Off course Mira, but if you want to pinch a tent in the toilet then go ahead cutie pie." "No, I don't." "Big Sis what about Ryan?" Lani asked. "Ryan is going back to the States soon." "But until then I will take care of your cute boyfriend, I mean it." She winked. "Pretty what did you say?" "Stop tickling me Lavi am not a baby anymore," she laughed heartily. "You are not, then let me catch you." "I also want him." Mireya rejoined. "You too, am coming after both of you," Lavina said as they run up and down her spring bed. "I am going to miss you guys a lot," Lavina said perching on the bed. "We will miss you too Lavi," they said simultaneously. "Ma, have you been standing there for long? Sorry if we are making to much noise, come in." "You're not Lavi; it's more fun watching you from a distance, so you have to promise me that you will always be this happy." "You should also be Happy Ma," Lavina stated. "You happiness is my joy, I love you, my babies." "We love you more Ma." As they embraced, tranquility thronged her heart, what more would a mother want than to see her children happy. Dusk demise was a bolt from the blue, and since then happiness had been just a fable to them but now it had found its way back into their lives.

She sat quietly, her legs hanging on the cliff, this was her favorite spot, it was a trip down memory lane not only with Ryan but also her father who loved to unwind at the breathtaking vista. She still could recall him chasing her around and seating cross-legged on the rocks as they gave in to meditation the cool breeze resting on them. She had learned the art of mediation at a young age, and it came in handy in helping her cope with the death of her hero. The cold hands capping her eyes startled her back into the present. "Ryan," she called. "Am I that obvious?" He asked sitting close to her. "No, but your smell is." "Don't tell me I smell horrible?" he said sniffing his clothes. "No, I love you perfume it's pleasant." "So is my scent that compelling." He said pecking her hands. "You bet." "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting; I had to run an errand for Dad." "It's okay, moreover, I enjoyed sitting here alone and taking a stroll down memory lane, this place evokes many pleasant memories." "I'm sure it does, so what's the news that you couldn't tell me over the phone, I hope you are not breaking up with me?" "It won't be a bad idea," she giggled and he gave her a phony frown." "My scholarship got approved," she stated abruptly. "That's big, I'm so happy for you, very proud that you didn't give up." "And you don't know how grateful I am to your solace, thank you, Ry. "It's my pleasure gorgeous, which University are you joining?" "Istanbul University." "But that is in Turkey," she nodded slightly " it's fine with me, though I'm going to miss you so much I will be behind you till the and am sure you will fall in love with Turkey, it's a beautiful country." "Have you been there?" "Yeah thrice, and that is where I celebrated my eighteenth birthday."

She snuggled on his breast as he peered keenly on the dipping sun below the horizon as the bright solar light behind them seemed to remit the twilight by each passing second. "Sunsets are breathtaking." He said his eyes unsatiated with its beauty. She bobbed in accord staring at the fire like sky her braided hair masking half her face. "If our lives would take a different trail, do you think we will remain good friends?" She asked still glaring into space. "And what gave you the notion," his gaze was fixed into hers. "Life is unpredictable and was should be open to any happening." "And would you want that?" he queried his eyes boring into hers. "No, the mere thought of it petrifies me," her voice was brittle and her eyes watery. Brushing the braid off her smooth sculpted face, he gently pressed his palms against her velvety cheeks. "Gorgeous, I don't know what life holds for both of us, but I assure you that I wanna spend the rest of my life with you and to build an empire together. I desire to wake up every morning beside you, to lay on your laps when I am sad, I want you to hold me tight when I'm wordless. I really have no idea what lies ahead but I'm definite that I want to share my life with you. Beautiful, I love you so much and I pray for us every day that in fullness of time will be together, I'm confident that you will be successful and I want to be beside you when you receive all your awards, to dedicate all my gong to you, be the best father if one day we are blessed with kids," the muscles on his mouth flexed widely sending chill down her spine. "That evening we made acquaintance was the best thing that happened to me, we became friends and slowly fell in love and frankly I can't wait to be your husband," her eyes beamed with delight "gorgeous if you ever forget everything I said today, but never forget that I adore you, Lavi, so much." She bridged the gap between them, pressed his cheeks with her palms her forehead against his. "And I love you more Ryne," Looking into her eyes and feeling their breath silence fell between them. The intent gaze on her lips aroused unceasing desire in him, he always felt the same way whenever she was this close him but his promise to keep it platonic always refrained him. Gaping into her eyes, he felt a deep stir to feel her lips on his, it was so intense that he couldn't shake it off. "May I?" he queried tracing his fingers across her lips. She leaned in and allowed him to caress her lips with his; her body became numb and everything around them evanesced, suddenly fright-filled her and she pulled off, the guilt of her unkept promise gnawing at her. Her eyes were closed, yet in the grip of the snog, it felt magical, she was thrilled.

Supine, he pulled her hand and her head lounged on his left arm. She opened her eyes but avoided his glance. "Sorry," he said grinning. "I loved it." "I love you, so much," he whispered bussing her hands, their smiles so enigmatic. "Do you believe that lamented people can see and hear us?" "I'm not sure, is it because of your Dad?" She nodded, his memories always bled fresh emotions. "If that is the case, I'm sure he is so proud of you, just like those twinkling stars, maybe his face is lit up with glee.

"I wish he were here to see what an amazing person my future husband is." "Your future husband?" "You don't like it?" "I love the sound of that." "I love you so much, Ryan. "And I love you more gorgeous and I'm going to miss you so much beautiful." "I will miss you too Ryan, but pay me a visit, won't you?" "I won't miss a chance, love."

Immersed in the passion of their evolving love, they had lost track of time. Their legs swung beneath the cliff and fixedly gazing on the seemingly boundless clear sky spangled with stars. She turned her head and grinned with Glee at him as the cool breeze brushed softly against their face, he intertwined his fingers with hers and she snuggled on his broad chest still in the grip of her first kiss, in an oasis of serenity with her first love.